Conscience (poem)

I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Now,this is where i'm at. These words i speak are uncertain and emotionaly flat. If you're going to blame me,then go ahead. I'm sick and tired of your opinions. Please get out of my head. I can hear your voice conquer my thoughts. My opinion and my life is stuck in this cage. Only if my words didn't end up in knots. I'd run wild and free and spread my rage. There's only so much i can take. I'd block you out but you're apart of me. My conscience,i am about to break free.

Appology letter to conscience

Dear Conscience,

I just want to say i am very sorry. I know i should listen to you more often then i should and i'm going to start. It's impossible to just stand by while you go to waste. You're in my head for a reason,right?

I should of dumped that fucking asshole prick a year ago and i should of just walked away. You i'm only human. I can't be wise and sincere and loyal to my beliefs and what-not. We should trade places you know? I'd like to be the bossy bitch for a day! I won't do it again. I just hate it when you yell! Between you and my heart i just can't listen to both at the same time! I can comprehend better advice when you compromise like my heart has a habit of doing.

You don't listen to me and you just need to think of it from my point of view. I mean come on! You can't just quit smoking. you need time. You're just so violent when it comes to me going out or smoking or anything fun! MY friends hate you i hope you know! Of course they don't your great personality like i do.

This was suppose to be an appology letter! Don't call me a dumb ass again! This is why i don't listen to you. Grow a freaking heart. Maybe you should listen to ME more!

sincerely,

Sarah.

It's tragic!

The way the human mind works.

It never fails to do the unthinkable yet the suspected.

"I wish you'd rot in hell."

"I hope you chocke on that dick too."

"Why are you on my junk,man?"

"Get the fuck away from me,you perve."

If it were different;as in the way our minds worked,would it be okay?

How are we suppose to act when someone won't leave us alone?

How are we suppose to act when a guy grabs our ass?

How are you going to act when your bestfriend confesses that she gave your high school crush a remm job?

We're not going to shake their hands or pay their bills.

We're going to act out or get revenge that we have convinced our minds that we disereve.

So what if it isn't polite to flip the perve off?

the addictions i trouble with!

my sweet therapy.

We all have our addictions and habbits.

It may involve nudity or smoking plants but it's all an addiction or habbit that grows on us.

It's not much of a trouble to get rid of your crack lighterand pond that pipe...right?

WRONG!

It's going to be a trouble. It's going to fucking suck and to be honest fuck you if you think having an addiction isn't the right thing to do or isn't in your daily helper book.

Fuck off if you don't like what you see!

I've come to realize that not all of us can be happy at one time.

You're reasponsible for your own damn happiness!

What would you like for me to do?

Drop my pen and paper and go jump start your fucked up day?

I don't think so.

So why don't you start a support group or get a fucking life and do what you need to do to "be happy"!

Either watch me walk away or light a cigarette.

Either way is fine with me as long as you're happy!

So here's what i think about your habbits or addictions;

if it's not hurting people then go right ahead with your chipper ass!

Blouse shopping!

You know when you buy a cute blouse and you have a feeling your boobs are too big for it but it's too cute to put back?

Well that's exactly how it is with my point of view on absolutely everything.

So what if he dips and if we get married and grow old together we can get insurance when his jaw pops off.

So what if he's a complete asshole and he brags about his ex fiance in front of you.

So what if he has no problem asking if you want to sleep with him.

So what if i know i can do better.

It's the same thing with the blouse idea and you know it.

My boobs were too big and he wouldn't fit.

Even though i was pretty persistant on making him fit

and damn did i have to hear him complain about all the other smaller boobs and pornstar boobs.

My boobs were too big and not his style.

It turned out that after you washed the piece of shit he got uglier and uglier until i didn't even want him to fit. =D

So here is the deal;

if the blouse doesn't fit then get a bigger size!

There's another problem.

You're shopping for a date tonight and you're feeling lazy.

so you want something comfortable. Right?

Of course you do.

You do your thing and you come across a a fucking ugly piece of waste but really it's the best comfy blouse you've tried on in years.

What do you do?

"If it catches your eye then give it a try"

Is what i always say.

So i'd rather be comfortable and enjoying my fucked up life then having another damn reason to kick the cash registers skinny as for letting me buy the cute but not comfortable blouse!!

who am i?

Next summer i'm going to band camp and this is what i've looked forward to all my life.

Music is what i depend on.

It's what gets me through the days.

I love playing with fire.

It's the center of the world.

Wher would we be if it wasn't for fire?

I can deal with music blaring.

I don't know this guy but i like him because he does what he loves to. Music.

He's a hobo but he still does what he loves.

This child is artemis. The reson why I am who I am and why I intend to do my best in this heartless world we all live in.

I am outrageously stupid but it's the kind of stupid people can stand.

I'm all bits and pieces of what the world made me.

Yes they're broken pies but they're linked somehow.

i'll continue to live this fucked up world if i get the chance to make the mistakes and learn to deal with it.

If i was beautiful like you

i would never be at fault

i'd walk in the rain between rain drops

bringing traffic to a hault. -beautiful like you by joydrop

i do it for the drugs

i do it just to feel

i do it for the love

that i get from the bottom of the bottle. bottom of the bottle by smile empty soul

To me,the world is a complete mess but we're what we make.

I'm still finding myself through a broken heart and a foggy world.

I am forgetfull bu ti still remember my name.

I am lost but i know where i want to go.

I am fucked up but i know it.

I am quiet but my music is loud.

I am cheerful but i cry.

I am happy but i take anger management.

I am independent but i ask my parents for money.

I am alive but i have no pulse.

I am sarah but i am becoming her sister.

There's always two sides of a story.